Fish Perfume (Cozy Harbor Marina Series) Page 19

  Sunday morning was extremely slow at the marina. It was still raining and the wind had kicked up. I closed up the store at noon and went over to Ian’s. He didn’t go out to work because the seas were too rough, so he had a rare day off. I picked up some chowder and clam cakes for lunch, and we spent the whole afternoon in bed watching the storm. I could look out the windows at Ian’s house forever and never get tired of the views. In stormy weather, the sea was a beautiful, powerful thing to watch. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing we did all day, but I won’t go into details. I will say, however, that there was an old line I’d heard once: “There are only two things to do on rainy days, and I hate cards.”

  Monday morning the sun was shining and by Tuesday, the seas had calmed down and a nice high-pressure system hovered above New England. People started to return to the marina and things got busy. I called Mac to let him know I couldn’t go clamming because we were too busy in the store. He said he would get a friend to go with him. At lunchtime, I wandered over to the Snack Shack to grab a bite to eat.

  Mo was by herself in the Shack. She had her chalkboard down and was in the process of changing the menu.

  I said, “Hi, Mo. What’s up?”

  She said, “Well, I’m revampin’ the menu a bit. All the guys are on diets and they want more low-cal things so I thought I’d add a few nice salads.”

  I said, “What inspired them all to go on diets?”

  She said, “Your friend Helen. I guess she told one of them she heard there was this doctor on Oprah once who said that if a guy lost so many pounds, he’d gain an inch on his penis.”

  I laughed. “I wonder how that came up in conversation?”

  “Yeah,” she snickered. “I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall.”

  “That’s too funny. I’ll have to ask Hel about that one.”

  Mo said, “Hey, I figure if they lose weight and their penises get larger, maybe their wives and girlfriends will start comin’ down here, and I’ll get more business.”

  “It’s worth a shot. Do you think if I lost weight, my boobs would get bigger?”

  Mo laughed and said, “Your boobs are fine, honey. You don’t want them any bigger.” She grabbed her own breasts and said, “ I’ve been carryin’ these girls around a long time. It’s fun when you’re young and they’re pointin’ at the moon, but when you get older, your back starts hurtin’ and gravity takes over. Pretty soon these puppies will be down to my knees.”

  We both laughed and I asked her, “Can I get a club sandwich? I’ll have some chips with that, too. I don’t feel as guilty eating chips since I’ve been running every night with Ian.”

  “Do you think you’ll be ready for the race on Friday?”

  “Yeah. I think I’m going to be fine. Helen is flying up on Friday morning, and she and Tony are going to cheer us on and make us dinner after the race.”

  She handed me my sandwich and said, “So, I guess things are goin’ well with Ian.”

  “Couldn’t be better. Oh, I heard from Gram. She’s coming home on the seventh. She wants me to meet Cal, and then she’s taking him to meet my parents.”

  Mo said, “Holy guacamole! Things must be serious.”

  I said, “I think so. She asked me to stay and run things until I have to go back for school. She’s going to stay at Cal’s house in Newport. I guess he’s got a house in San Diego and one in Newport.”

  Mo said, “Wow. It sounds like he’s loaded. Maybe he knows somebody who would like a real woman like me.”

  “I’ll ask him for you.”

  “Do that. Hey, you never know. When do you have to be back?”

  “The last week in August. I have some meetings to go to before school starts.”

  “I’ll hate to see you go. What about you and Ian?”

  “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it. I haven’t brought it up because I’m having too much fun, and I’ll just get depressed thinking about it. Besides, we haven’t been seeing each other all that long and I don’t want to scare him off.”

  Mo said, “If I was a bettin’ woman, I’d bet you aren’t goin’ to be teachin’ in Philly anytime soon.”

  “We’ll see. How’s the dating scene?”

  She said, “Well, I’m still chattin’ it up on the Net with the local guy. He calls himself Fisher Man. He still hasn’t asked me out yet, but I keep talking to him anyway. He’s a fun guy. I still think he might be married, though.”

  “I hope not. Maybe he’s just shy. Maybe he’ll be worth the wait.”

  “Yeah, I hope he doesn’t wait too long. Little Mo’s gettin’ cobwebs.”

  I laughed and said, “Any new cyber men?”

  “Yeah. A pretty hot one, too. He sent his picture and he’s definitely eye candy. His name is Dave, and he’s about my age, divorced with no kids. He owns his own company. I think he makes cardboard boxes or somethin’ like that. Anyway, I’m seein’ him on Saturday night. We’re meetin’ at a restaurant in Westerly.”

  “Sounds like a hot one.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Hey, I saw Sean and his mother Marybeth get on the Murphys’ boat.”

  Mo said, “Yeah, all the guys are fightin’ over who’s gonna take Sean fishin’ next. The kid seems to be enjoyin’ himself.”

  “Oh, that’s good to hear.”

  Mo looked up from her board and said, “How does a Greek salad sound? I’m also gonna put on here a salad Niçoise. Since there’s fresh tuna around, I thought that would be good.”

  “Sounds great.”

  By the time I was halfway through my sandwich, the Shack had a crowd of people. I finished up my lunch and went back to work.

  After closing, I went right over to Ian’s, and we did a ten-mile run. It was the first time we actually ran that distance. I was dragging the last mile, but I made it. We went back to his house, took showers, and grilled some chicken and veggies. We celebrated our run with a vodka tonic. Another great night together followed, and I woke up Wednesday feeling great. Actually, I’ve never felt better in my life. It’s amazing what exercise and a lot of sex will do for a girl.

  When I opened up the store at 4:30, people were already waiting. I let in five guys and a girl. The girl looked a little out of place. First of all, she really wasn’t dressed for fishing. She was a chesty blond with a tight, sparkly V-neck T-shirt on that said “Too Hot” and cut-off jeans short shorts. She had a ton of makeup on, but the weirdest thing was, she wore high heels. I never saw anyone get on a fishing boat with high heels. One of the guys told me they were here for a charter on the Blood, Sweat and Beers. They bought a few T-shirts, and then I pointed them toward the boat. About an hour later, I got a call from Randy on the Blood, Sweat and Beers.

  He said, “Meggie, you have to do me a huge favor.”

  I wondered why his voice sounded so panicky. I asked, “What’s up?”

  He said, “That charter I’ve got on my boat is a bachelor party. The guys thought it would be fun to bring a hooker along.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You’re kidding. I saw her this morning, and I didn’t think she looked the fishing type.”

  He said, “Well, she isn’t. She’s been sick as a dog ever since we left. I’m halfway to Block Island, and I’m turning around to drop her off at the marina, then I’m heading out again with these bozos. I was wondering if you could do me a favor and give her a ride to the bus stop so she can catch a bus back to Providence?”

  “Sure. What’s her name?”

  I heard Randy yell to the guys, “Hey, what’s her name?” The guys yelled back in chorus, “I don’t know.”

  I said, “Don’t worry about it, Randy. Call me back when you get close to the marina and I’ll meet her at the dock.”

  Randy said, “
Try and keep this under your hat. If my wife, Sarah, finds out about this, she’ll sell my boat. She’s a scary broad.”

  I said, “Well, I’ll try to keep it on the QT, but you know how things are around here.”

  He said, “Thanks, Meggie. I owe ya.”

  I hung up and laughed. Just when you think everything is normal around here, something comes up out of the blue.

  Randy called me back about a half-hour later, and I went down to the dock to meet the hooker. The guys helped her off the boat and the poor thing looked like death warmed over. Her skin had turned green and her hot pink lips were pressed together in a tight grim line. As soon as her feet hit the dock, she laid down. The guys got back in the boat and took off to go fishing.

  I said to the hooker, “Hi, my name is Meggie. How are you feeling?”

  She looked up at me and said, “I’ve never been so sick in my life. I feel like I’m gonna die. I didn’t know I’d get seasick. I’ve never been on a boat before.”

  I asked her, “What’s your name?”

  She said, “Lolly. Lolly Lovelick.”

  I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh and asked her, “Do you think you can stand? I’ll give you a ride to the bus stop.”

  She said, “I can’t go anywhere right now. I just want to sleep for a while. Can I just lie on the dock and take a nap?”

  I knew I couldn’t let a hooker sleep on the dock. The marina would be buzzing with people in about an hour. I wasn’t about to offer Gram’s cottage, so I decided I would put Lolly on Tony’s boat and let her sleep for a bit. When she got up, I would take her to the bus stop.

  I said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. How about I help you on one of the boats, and you can sleep there until you’re feeling better.”

  “There’s no way I’m getting on another boat.”

  I said, “The boat won’t be moving. You’ll be fine.”

  She looked skeptical but agreed to give it a try. I helped her up off the dock and we headed over to Tony’s boat. I helped her on board, thanking God that Tony hadn’t locked it up. When I got her below, she stretched out on the berth, and I threw a blanket on her. With luck, she won’t sleep too long, and I can get her off the boat before Tony shows up.

  I told her, “Come find me in the store when you wake up, and I’ll give you a ride to the bus.”

  I went back to work and I had to tell Journey. It was just too funny. The rest of the morning went by and no Lolly. At lunchtime, I went down on Tony’s boat to see if she was still there. There she was, still sleeping away. I decided to go have lunch at the Shack. If she wasn’t up and about by the time I finished, I would wake her.

  I walked in the Shack and sitting at the counter were Dancing Kathy, Big H, Bob from the Bite Me, and Joe Turner, without Number One or Number Two. I sat down and ordered a salad. The guys were all talking about fishing. I was almost finished when Tony walked in and said, “Does anybody know anything about that Goldilocks sleeping on my boat?”

  I thought, shit. I didn’t know what to say, so I blurted out the truth. “I do. She’s a hooker.”

  Everyone’s jaw dropped.

  Dancing Kathy laughed and said, “Oh my God.”

  Tony smiled at me and said, “That’s really nice of you, Meggie, but it’s not my birthday.”

  I said, “She’s not for you. I just put her on your boat to sleep because she got seasick. Randy took out a charter that was a bachelor party, and they brought her along. They got halfway to Block Island, and she got violently ill. They dropped her off. I was going to give her a ride to the bus stop, but she was too sick. So I let her sleep on your boat. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Tony said, “Just make sure you tell Hel I had nothing to do with this.”

  I said, “Don’t worry, I will.”

  Everyone was laughing.

  Mo said, “This is a first. A seasick hooker.”

  Joe Turner said, “Next time that happens, Meggie, put the hooker on my boat.”

  Bob said, “Mine’s available also. Hookers are always welcome.”

  I pleaded with them. “Randy doesn’t want his wife to find out, so keep it under your hat.”

  Bob shivered and said, “Scary Sarah. I don’t blame him.”

  Just as I stood up to go wake up Goldilocks, she walked in the door. All the guys looked her up and down.

  I asked her, “Are you feeling better?”

  Much to the guys’ pleasure, she stretched like a cat and her boobs almost fell out of her low-cut T-shirt. She said, “I feel like a new person. I thought I was gonna die out there.”

  Bob said, “Meggie, aren’t you going to introduce us?”

  I said to Lolly, “This is Tony. It was his boat you were napping on, and that’s Bob, Big H, Joe, and Kathy. Oh, and behind the counter is Mo.”

  Lolly said, “Hi, I’m Lolly Lovelick.”

  Everyone smiled and said hi. Mo had to turn around and face the grill. I could see her shoulders shaking.

  Lolly asked, “Could I get a cheeseburger and a coke?”

  Joe Turner said, “You should try the Italian sausage.”

  I looked at Tony and rolled my eyes. He was laughing.

  Lolly licked her lips and smiled at Joe. She said, “I had two of those yesterday. I think I’m in the mood for a cheeseburger.”

  Mo said, “One cheeseburger comin’ up. Have a seat.”

  I could tell none of the guys were going to leave while Miss Lolly was in the Shack.

  Lolly looked at me and said, “Thanks for helping me out this morning. I really appreciate it.”

  I said, “No problem. I guess you lost a day’s work.”

  She said, “They were nice. They gave me two hundred dollars and all I did was get seasick. I guess I won’t be going out on the water anytime soon. Actually, I only do this occasionally for some extra money. I’m a full-time dancer.”

  Dancing Kathy perked up and asked her, “Where do you dance?”

  Lolly said, “I’m a dancer at a gentlemen’s club in Providence.”

  Kathy said, “What kind of dancing do you do?”

  The boys started to snicker.

  Lolly said, “I’m a featured pole dancer.”

  Kathy said, “Really. That is the new craze. It’s supposed be really good exercise. I own a dance studio, and I’ve had a lot of calls from people wanting to know if we offer pole-dancing classes.”

  Lolly said, “It’s becoming really popular since it was featured on Oprah.”

  Kathy said, “Hey, would you be interested in teaching a class at my studio?”

  Lolly said, “I’d love it. I could use the money and maybe I could give up my side job.”

  Kathy said, “Give me your number and I’ll call you. What nights are you free?”

  Lolly wrote her number on a napkin and gave it to her and said, “Wednesdays are good for me.”

  Dancing Kathy said, “Let me make some calls and see if I can get some people to sign up. How many do you think should be in the class?”

  Lolly said, “As many as you can fit in your studio.”

  Kathy said, “I can fit about twenty.”

  Lolly said, “Sounds good.”

  Mo said, “I’ll sign up and I’ll get my friends Sandy, MaryAnn, and Val to sign up too. They’ll love it and so will their husbands. How about you, Meggie?”

  I said, “Sure. I can always use more exercise.”

  Dancing Kathy got up to leave and said, “I’ll call you in a few days, Lolly, when I get things set up. This could be lucrative for us both.”

  Joe said, “Hey, I’d pay just to watch the class.”

  Dancing Kathy gave him a dirty look and said, “Forget it, Joe. I’m surprised you don’t have a pole on your boa
t.”

  Everyone laughed.

  Dancing Kathy said, “Speaking of poles, I wonder where I can get some quick.”

  Tony said, “I know just the guy to call.” He wrote a number on a piece of paper and gave it to Dancing Kathy.

  Dancing Kathy said, “Thanks, Tony. Lolly, I’ll be in touch.”

  Lolly said, “Thanks.”

  Dancing Kathy said, “No. Thank you,” and walked out the door.

  Lolly looked around at all of us. “Boy, this is my lucky day.” She raised her eyebrows and said to Tony, “Thanks for letting me take a nap on your boat. Can I do anything for you as a thank-you?”

  I thought the guys were gonna fall off their stools. Tony laughed and said, “No, I’m good.”

  Since she had finished her burger, I asked her, “Are you ready to go catch the bus?”

  She smiled and said, “Yeah. It was nice meeting all you people. Thanks again, Tony.”

  The guys gave her a sad smile and waved goodbye. They were like children, and I was taking their favorite toy away from them.

  I dropped her off at the bus stop and told her I would see her soon. I can’t wait to tell Ian about my day.

  Before I went over to Ian’s for our nightly run, I checked my e-mail. There was one from Helen.

  Hi, Meggie:

  I’m looking forward to seeing you on Friday. I miss it up there. How’s Tony? I hope he’s missing me because I can’t wait to see him. I hope you’re keeping an eye on him for me. I’m so glad I can get off Friday. Tony will be picking me up at the airport. I get in around 10:00 in the morning. Just so you know, I’ll be staying with him.

  Lonely in Philly,

  Hel

  I wrote back.

  Hi, Hel:

  Looking forward to seeing you, too. I’ve been keeping not just one eye, but two, on Tony and you have nothing to worry about. He looks like a lost puppy without you. Also, I haven’t seen any flaws. Have a good flight. Pop in the store if you guys make it down to the marina before the race.